It Can Be Done, I Got To Keep Tell Myself That.

18month old+Traveling alone with 18mo old+Cast=I feel like a nightmare coming.....

I hate traveling alone, but makes me so nervous to travel with chase. I have flown more then 6 times and I still am scared to death of planes. I just imagine it now Chase crying on the airplane because he wants off my lap for 3-4hrs.I will cry right along with him. And what the hell do I do if he HAS to have diaper change on the plane? Oh my.....but once we land all that will be forgotten because it will just be a bit and I will see my family!

But any tips to keep him clam? After 2hrs in the car he cry's he wants out and he is just done.And that cast,Its bulky on him.Its are to keep a toodler from wiggling, but the cast doesn't help. Its hard to get a grip on him to keep him from wiggling. And I hate to see if someone by us has something he wants...Oh my..."Please keep tablets out of my childs eye sight, He will wanna play with it"

To get off topic, I have been dealing with some bad insomnia. I dont even remember when it started. It may been this way for my whole life. I cant just fall asleep. I am awake for what it feels like HOURS laying down. I end up,surfing the net, watching TV, drinking a bunch of water(then once I do go to sleep I end up waking up to go to the bath room). I just cant sleep. I been taking unisom(SP), to try and sleep. Its 10pm and I am tierd, but sleep yeah right.

Cast # 2 is proving to be different from the first. Chase is back to not having anything to do with independent steps at all. Crawling is even a bit difficult.I know its only been a week of this cast, but he seem use to it. But still gets mad at the cast pulls at the shoulder straps and after crawling for a long stretch  or even just a little bit, he will just lay down and give in. It breaks my heart,I have to pick him up and cuddle him. I just want him to be able to do what ever he wants in this cast.But he is still doing great with his walker.

He feels lost on these weekends.

Only a few more days until nice Arizona weather. I don't know anyone that likes this cold weather, and if you I'm sorry but your crazy!

Chase is in his bed telling him self a bedtime story. When his brother and sisters are gone its like all routine is out the window, I can just forget that he had one. All day he will stop at their bedrooms doors and knock and yell for them. It's kinda cute and sad at the same time.

I did absolutely nothing today. Should of did atleast a little but ahhh it will wait till tomorrow. I enjoy it but feel guilty on these types of days. They don't come often. I try my hardest to not let life run me over. But it is right now. Every little thing in my life is running me down.

On a good note Chase is attempting to take steps all by him self took 3 steps  by himself. And his balance is getting better again he is back to being a pro with his walker. He can get anywhere he wants with it now. 

I'll leave off with a old picture. I can remember Chase being that small like it was yesterday. He was so tiny, slept a lot, and kinda colicy( I don't miss that). He would sometimes sleep so much during the day I would just pick him up to cuddle and rock him. I still at night just wanna pick him up and rock my sleeping baby.

THE FLU! EVERYONE NEEDS TO WATCH THIS!

The flu is very active right now. This video I found is very informational. You don't have to touch anything to get the flu....

Just Watch!

Just Some Facts...Did You Know?

I get a lot of scoliosis questions, from family and friends. So here are some facts I know.

• Idiopathic Scoliosis (idiopathic meaning nothing causing the scoliosis) is mostly seen in teenage girls.

• Idiopathic infantile scoliosis is opposite, more then half is seen in boy than girls. 

• Idiopathic infantile scoliosis is thought to either be developing while a fetus due to uterus pressure or after birth from laying the baby flat on its back and causing a flat spot on the skull or developing a spinal curve. (Chase's doctors are convinced that he inherited it)
 

 

• 90% of idiopathic infantile scoliosis in the US will need treatment. It will just disappear on its own. 

Site Ref.

• Most infantile scoliosis curves are left thoracic and with juvenile scoliosis most curves are right thoracic. ( This is one statistic Chase doesn't not follow, His is right thoracic with infantile scoliosis. This could be do to inheritance, Mine if I am not mistake I think is to the right also,) 

 Site Ref.   

I have done tons of researching and know most risks of bracing VS casting.And have talked to Dr. Hammerburg who applies EDF casting. Bracing will just hold the curve or slow the progressive down. While after getting the spine the straightest they can with casting( and with what I see they can get them pretty well under 10 degrees with casting and the child can start off with 50+ deg. But aslo depends on the little spine) Dr Hammerburg and other doctors applying EDF casting can successively brace. 

Chase will make his own  path in this journey. I do not look at all statistics and think chase will follow them like the statistic of children needing surgery if casting don't work.But If we was to think about another child( Which we aren't!) I can't say that the risk of scoliosis wouldn't be in the back of my head.

Chase Is Becoming A Pro At This Casting(Cast#2)

Favorite book.

Four hour car rides seem so much longer then what they are. But Chase is a pretty good traveler, as long has we have Thomas the train DVDs,Snacks,toys,books and mommy's humor. 

On these trips its filled with so much emotion and usually unspoken. On the way up its kinda sad for us, no more close snuggles and not having to worry about spills on the cast and he love to go around in just a diaper and what parent doesn't like to see their kid in their little happy moments(Not saying we don't have that in cast). I still have a fear of putting him under anastasia. July 2012 is still fresh in our minds of the reaction he had. I know its not healthly, but to be a strong mother I sweep these fears under a rug just to not show it. 

"Hey, I missed you"

Like normal, He found his buddy back at the hotel. Now he even talks to the baby in the mirror and offer it some food. I really think we need a wall of mirror in his room, but if we did that we would never get him out of his room. 

The hotel we stay at is a very nice place. Right by O'Hara airport and is always busy. So chase's yelling knocking and running in to everything thing in his walker gets over looked because its never just a quite moment there. 

Wheres baby?

Their is no moment of down time on casting trips. No sleep, no sitting down and relaxing, no sitting down enjoying a meal with out chase on my lap,and if you have the laptop out. Its not your turn to check your email or anything, its chase's time to press buttons to find out what every single button does. I even lost the baby in the hotel room didn't know it was possible. Until I heard lil giggles and a foot hanging out of the closet door. 






 

 We had our first Chicago style deep dish. Oh let me tell you. It was GOOD. Two slices and it feels ya up

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 What a long day a casting day can be. Chase wasn't a happy camper at the hospital. Tired and hungry calls for a cranky child. We met up with another family that I have been talking to for a while now.Chase and their son is right around the same age. It was nice to sit down and talk with them,we could relate on a lot. Chase was trying out his lil buddies trick of chewing on a tooth brush to keep occupied, it worked for a bit. 

When they finally took chase back, that's when time sits still and seem like forever before I get to hold my baby. Dr H and Linda came out to talk with us after casting. And you could tell on Dr H's face he wasn't delighted with great news.We wasn't expecting the best numbers, from already seeing his x-rays and hearing numbers from local radiology.Chase lost 8 degrees with the first cast. Not what we all was hoping for but with casting there is no protocol numbers,their is no chart of" well after first cast with a beginning curve of -- it should be to this --. No every child every curve is different. And tried to prepare us that this will not be a short road of casting. Chase started off with a pretty big curve. All I was thinking was my boy is 8 degrees less then that big curve he started off with YAY! Now in cast number two he was 52 out of cast and in cast they got him down to a whooping 15 degrees. We are just waiting for that growth spurt to hit and numbers to even go down faster with growth in the cast. 

Chase is getting back to his normal self now. A bit top heavy and will fall backwards while sitting but no crying because of it."That's my boy!". He is happy and watching his sprout. Sesame street is really popular now. As long has big bird isn't on their. He is kinda scared of big bird. 

Stay tuned for pictures of Cast#2!!!!Coming Soon.  

Chase is a little pro with with walker.

Got To Keep Hoping!

So right out of cast chase got a x-ray. We was curious of what the curve did in cast.Chase started off with a 60 degree curve and in cast he was at amazing 23 degrees. We was also curious of correction right out of cast and what it would be a week out of cast going in to cast number 2.

Dr H re-insured me at Chase's last appointment,this will not be a short process. That being 23 in cast doesn't me he will be 23 out of cast.And it all will depend on chase's growing. He didn't feel that chase would progress worse in numbers in cast because they do believe Chase has a "idiopathic" type of scoliosis,meaning there is nothing causing it.

 I was not ready to see this x-ray, it broke my heart and made me give up hope at that moment. With support of my friends and family I cant give up hope on this treatment for chase's sake. But in the back of my mind the worst is running threw it. "What if this treatment don't work on my baby"" What if he is being casted till the age of 6, that 4 and half years of casting". But I just got to ignore them thoughts and Pray for good numbers with cast number 2. Going threw scoliosis my self has been easier then this.But when its your baby,and your making decisions for another little human its hard,If you make a decision about your health its you living with it for the rest of your life, But this is my child.He is the one is physically going threw it,and cant speak of what he wants or if you could talk over it  he wouldn't understand the concept of this. We just cant let this go and hope and pray its ok.   

Goodbye Cast#1!

Yesterday will be one of the best days of 2013,We got to remove our baby's ''turtle shell". And he made mommy proud. We was braced to see chase cry and have to hold him down from fighting us and that NEVER happened. He had the doctor all nervous for nothing. While getting the cast pealed off,my heart broke. Seeing my son sitting up straight and ribs not that bad displaced. Taking the cast off, and everything feel in to place where we started before.I guess my hopes were up a little high. All I could do was forget about Chase's spine and just love on him.

He came home and got right in the bath,after some much needed daddy cuddles.

All now is pray that Cast number 2 is better. That little man will have a good growth spurt while in a cast!

And we leave this blog off with a video of Chase being such a good boy...Chase's Doctor is great with him and I couldn't ask for a better doctor for him.(This was out at our local hospital not Chicago Shriners)

Watch Out World, Chase Is Walking!

What a good start of the year. Chase is getting cast#2 in a week,AND he is WALKING. I was worried that the day would never come. I have been waiting for this day. Every time he would was holding on to something and let go,my heart would be beating fast and I was ready to yell in excitement. He had his own little timeline and it wasn't just yet time. And yesterday he just surprised all when we making him take a step or 2. The number of steps just gotten more and more and we went for 2-3 steps at a time to...11 and today he did 17 for me.Its a big milestone for every baby. But a HUGE one for chase.

It looks like this cast will be off on Monday. Bright and early 7:30am. And a LONG bath afterwards.Chase gets a week out of cast then off to Chicago for the 2nd cast. This time around should be easier, I hope. But I don't think it ever gets easier handing your baby over to a nurse before they put him to sleep and not being able to hold his hand threw the whole thing.

Kids are back in to school mode, and the first few days with out them home was different. I hate changes, and not having them around all day gets lonely. Before we know it school will be out for the summer and WE all will miss school time LOL.

Talking about summer, Oh my this nice weather we are having is great. Its back to just hoodie weather. But the weather needs to make up its mind. Either stay 20 degrees or 60's. It won't be long until Chase and I are enjoying weather like this or warmer out in Arizona in Feb for Grandma's Birthday! 

And this Birthday stuff, needs to stop. I can't believe my oldest step daughter(or should I say soon to be) is 14. Two more years we will have a driver on our hands. Just crazy I tell ya!

I will end with a poem I found on Facebook. It made me cry when I read it. Its what I feel in my heart.....

"If before you were born, I could have gone to heaven and saw all the beautiful souls, I still would have chosen you...

If God had told me, "This soul would one day need extra care and needs," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me, "This soul may make your heart bleed," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me, "This soul would make you question the depth of your faith," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "This soul would make tears flow from your eyes that could fill a river," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me "This soul may one day make you witness overbearing suffering," I still would have chosen you...

If He had told me, "All that you know to be normal would drastically change," I still would have chosen you...

Of course, even though I would have chosen you, I know it was God who chose me for you." Terri Banish.