I just wanna lock the door to the bedroom and just breath alone. No phone, No computer nothing but silence. But I think I would go mad. With everything going on with my baby just hear them question something else just minor to what his back is doing to him, just makes me want to scream " What Next?"...Why my son. Can't we just catch a break. I feel bad for feeling like this and kick my self in the butt for it because it could be worse. But it hurt me that my baby boy is going threw so much and not knowing a bit. All he know is he has to wear this cast. That make's it difficult sometimes to move around like he wants to but he finds new ways around it.
I thank god everyday we found out about EDF casting, that if we stuck with what our original orthopedic doctor chase, would be for sure be facing growth rods by the age of 5 or 6 which would be surgery after surgery for them and not to mention the risks and complications they hold.. Don't get me wrong EDF casting isn't a for sure going to save him from any surgery but give better chance's. And maybe a CURE!
I been reading Crooked Love a book written by a mother that son was CURED by EDF treatments. Went from 63degree curve to a 1degree. I don't think it was the right time for me to be reading this book.I should of waited till all the emotional pain had subsided till reading this what for me is a very emotional well written book. With being 75percent in to the book I cant stop now.
I cant wait till one day when chase is old enough to understand what he went threw, and the hard choices we made. And did everything we could for him to have the best outcome for him all the sleepless nights I had...and all the research I did because I didnt feel like I was doing enough for my baby.
In the end I think this part of my life has changed me so much. Right now I still feel like we are in the dark with this first cast,But I know this is making a stronger mother and person.
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